A senior reporter of thegarlic has uncovered a secret Greek plan to grow its economy by expansion based upon meeting fundamental human medical needs. “There are growing basic human needs that are evident if one studies the patterns of expenditure in growing economies” a senior unnamed Minister said. The minister further noted that “Greece will specialize in these and grow the economy as a result”. The Minister confirmed that these initiatives would also strengthen the Greek public and private health sector and hence deliver a benefit in quality of life to the Greek people. It has been reported that as part of the renegotiations of the EU bailout, Greece will be seeking an agreed Greek monopoly within the EU on certain classes of cosmetic surgery. It will be a real win-win situation and the EU will not need to concede any of its austerity conditions.
As a result of a think-tank study conducted by Greece’s top health systems economists, it had been concluded that the Greek economy can grow based on meeting the basic needs of people all over the world to increase the size of various anatomical regions. The Minister remarked that “Brazil has seven times more buttock operations per head than any other country in the world and Brazil’s economy is booming”. In addition, there are million’s of operations increasing breast size, and, modifying the characteristics of other bodily parts that the Minister did not wish to discuss.
The Minister said that giving Greece a monopoly would be very attractive to a number of EU countries that have high-intensity public health support regimes. It is well known that many of the northern EU countries cannot meet their public health obligations using their own services. These countries may be willing to pass this responsibility to Greece. The Greek health system is now becoming a low-cost health system and therefore it will make economic sense to let Greece take over the burden of providing such services. The Minister rejected suggestions that it was immoral to profit from people’s insecurities in this way.
The Minister was reluctant to discuss the area of genital cosmetic surgery. She noted that it is true that Greece already has ten times more manhood operations per head than any other country in the world. However she denied that this would be the spearhead of the Greek campaign. It appears that the primary reason that this huge lead in this important field has not yet been fully exploited by the country has been the lack of a national strategy.
It has been reported that the manhood issue is only part of the Greek strategy. It has now been concluded that the advertising issues are not quite as challenging as previously thought. Greece is also considering looking to its rich ancient history for some artistic examples which could be used in advertising.
Greece was determined to avoid the appearance of joining the email scams associated with manhood enhancement. It has therefore not resorted to sending bulk emails advertising its expertise and its achievements in this area. Instead it is proposed that Greek tourist agencies plan a series of tasteful television advertisements on late night TV throughout the world. “The new Prime Minister is determined to overcome these problems and this will not simply be cosmetic surgery on bailout conditions. He is confident that the EU will accept this innovative proposal as part of the renegotiations on redefining the conditions of our bailout package” she concluded.
