List of ten things to do when your baby arrives

  1. Make sure you know the baby’s gender once it is born
  2. You may want to make sure that the baby is yours (that it has not been swapped by some other baby in the hospital); compare the eye colour with colours of the parents eyes
  3. Get the baby a Facebook account and a twitter account
  4. Select a suitable name that fits the twitter and Facebook account names
  5. Get the child a personalized number plate since these number plates may not be available by the time the baby grows to 18-year old
  6. Trade mark your baby’s name  (parents are “legally authorised to trademark the names of their minor children”)
  7. Apply for baby’s admission to the top school you want the baby to attend
  8. Take at least 5-10 photos of the baby every day and  upload them to Facebook
  9. Write a blog every day of your experience of having a baby
  10. Apply for a passport for the baby lest you have to travel