The Garlic investigators have discovered that an international coference of Mafia and Organised Crime Leaders from across the globe was held recently to discuss the desirability of declaring itself to be an international church. This new move would, it is hoped, give Mafia improved operational flexibility. The International Mafia and Organised Crime Research Department, IMORD, has been following developments in allegations that Catholic and Anglican church operatives were systematically involved in criminal activities, in particular, sexual offences against children, and had generally never been prosecuted. A spokesperson for IMORD told The Garlic that the Mafia and the churches had a similar problem and that the churches had managed to deal with them whilst the mafia had found it difficult to avoid criminal charges. The spokesperson further added that the Mafia has been studying their approach and concluded that becoming a church might mean the Mafia operatives would be protected from prosecution.
When asked, the spokesperson said that a typical Mafia clan had a lot in common with a church diocese. For example, the Mafia accepts donations from the wealthy, and redistributes them. Also, the Mafia has processes for dealing with their own people who break the rules, and, hence like the churches, the Mafia does not need outside enforcement from the police. When it was suggested that financial contributions to the Mafia, unlike those made to the religious bodies were hardly voluntary, the spokesperson smiled. He commented that it just depends on how you look at it. The spokesperson added “Are you telling me that someone who gives to the church, the synagogue or the mosque because they are terrified of not going to heaven, or of ending up in hell is acting voluntarily? Good Lord no!. They do it to save there skins in the future! In our case, we just bring the timing forward, and they give to save their skins now! What’s the difference?”.
The Garlic asked whether the Mafia had sought the help of any of the churches. The spokesperson offered no comment. However, he conceded that the garlic was close to the mark when it suggested they might be talking to Catholic leaders in Rome. The spokesperson agreed that the Catholic Church was a good source of advice. The Garlic has learned that IMORD is interested in co-locating with the Catholic Church in the Vatican or near it.
