The Garlic is in a position to reveal that the cyclist Lance Armstrong is not a drug cheat. He was lying when he appeared on the Oprah Winfield show. Our reporter has discovered that Lance Armstrong is an American hero who’s confession on TV was an act of self-sacrifice designed to cover up a secret CIA-NASA program. The super human stamina and strength that allowed Armstrong to win seven Tour de France titles was the result of a unique rigorous training regime which evolved from the re-acclimatisation program originally developed for astronauts. NASA revealed that the program was designed for astronauts that spent months in weightless conditions, for example, as part of long-term experiments on the international space station. Such astronauts suffer muscle atrification. NASA therefore developed techniques for building muscles and strength of astronauts returning from space. These techniques did not involve any banned substances. Instead they consisted of special diets, novel exercise regimes and meditation. It was discovered that these programs resulted in naturally increasing the growth hormone HGH in the body. This growth repaired the muscles and improved strength. Lance Armstrong was involved in the program from the beginning and he and NASA scientists were amazed at the success of the program.
The project leader at NASA noted that the success of the project has been surprising and those completing the program were in better shape than when they started.
Apparently when a CIA think-tank heard about it, they wondered if it could be used to improve the physical capabilities of some CIA agents who could become a super-human “black ops” team, far fitter and stronger than even the best of the members of their SEALS and DELTA teams. The official said that when Armstrong’s people heard about it, they volunteered Lance as a guinea-pig. The results were clearly spectacular. According to the NASA spokesperson, the cost of the program is very high and it exceeds the financial capacity of most individual athletes and that is why there had been only one example of a sports person trying it. The spokesperson would not comment on whether or not the CIA has also adopted the program.
The NASA spokesperson noted the importance of keeping the program a secret because various international sports drug enforcement agencies, their US counterparts and the ICU were fed false information to incriminate Armstrong and to make sure that this clandestine operation was kept under wraps. Poor Lance Armstrong therefore had to make a public confession on Oprah Winfrey show. The official insisted that the Garlic must not reveal any of the off-the-record conversation because it was subject to official secrets protection in the USA.
