Detailed analysis of various polls and inside polling by Mr Romney’s team appear to show that Mitt Romney is trailing President Obama in the gay community, the Latino community as well as with women voters. To deal with these areas of low popularity, Mr Romney has announced the GLOW campaign. This campaign essentially involves finding a suitable vice-presidential candidate that is gay, Latino and a woman. Mr Romney’s staff have indicated that it is quite difficult to find a suitable GLOW candidate who will be acceptable to the Republican Party and the American voters but the search is continuing. Furthermore, a staff member noted confidentially that if a suitable GLOW candidate could not be identified then they might have to settle for a GLAM candidate.
The situation has not yet reached crisis level, however it ratcheted one step closer last week when President Obama announced his previously closeted support for gay marriage. The reaction inside Romney headquarters was swift where confidential sources told thegarlic reporters: “President Obama has been sighted twice at Broadway musicals, most recently wearing suspenders and in the company of a well known male jeans model.”. Not to be deterred however the source went on: “Two can play at that game. We will immediately start on a GLAM campaign. Our staffers will individually review each and every respondent to Romney’s craigslist advertisement titled ‘Mitsy needs a hug’”. Interested parties can find it under MSWRLM (Men Seeking Women who are really Latino Men) on the San Francisco craigslist.
Five finalists will be chosen, with the four runners up spending a collective night in the White House hot tub. President Obama has agreed to let Mr Romney use the tub for one night. The selected GLAM candidate will accompany Mr Romney on the remainder of the campaign trail where he will stay almost, but not completely, out of sight.
